Despite The Nasty Rumors Floating Around: Lizzo Did Not - I Repeat NOT - Stage Dive And Kill A Fan

This is a prime example of why I enjoy living in the future. I'm 31, so if you're around my age you undoubtedly remember the Marilyn Manson rumor. You know, the one where he got surgery to remove some of his ribs so that he could suck his own dick. Easily the coolest rumor I've ever heard in my entire life. What a legendary move. Man was fed up having someone else do his dirty work and took matters into his own hands. Get that pesky rib cage out of the way and it's cream filling season for Marilyn. 

And, since it happened in the past, there was no way for him to prove it one way or another. That just floated from community to community like one long game of telephone. That happens today? Manson's on TikTok doing advanced yoga poses proving to the world he cannot slurp his own hog no matter how hard he tries. That's the train of thought this Lizzo video bought my brain a first class ticket for. A lot of people see a funny video of a celebrity jumping on her bed to prove she can't kill a man with her force and velocity and go about their day. Me? Marilyn Manson sucking his own dick. Any video, any celebrity, any piece of media is bare minimum six degrees of separation from that memory triggering in my head.